how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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