Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
