Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
