I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it's like heaven, but drunker
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
