She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
