Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
