I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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