Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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