yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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