ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
