Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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