We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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