Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
