Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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