margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
