he wants to bone in the snuggie
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
