omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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