I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
