I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you never un-have a 4some
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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