Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
