i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
