I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
