Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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