i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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