Dual....:-)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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