You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
