Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Jerry, you need to find god
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
