I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
