Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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