I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
