I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
