i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
