I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
