she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
