I just made out with a guy for $7.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
