the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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