So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
