well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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