Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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