Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
