And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
