i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
