Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
