it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
