I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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