sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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