Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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