Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
