He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
