3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
